The Stickiest Thing Since Sticky The Stick Insect Got Stuck On A Sticky Bun.

I’m growing a human! Blob stuck!

After so long with disappointment after disappointment, constant negative tests and then all the results of the investigations done earlier in the year, this was a sight I honestly never thought I’d see!

I know that once you begin IVF, everything changes because the circumstances are different but there was still a big part of me that believed we were unlikely to ever be that lucky.

Confession time: I was a tad naughty and did a home pregnancy test the day before my official test at the clinic.

I know, I know.

It may sound like excuses but here was my reasoning.

A home pregnancy test measures the level of hCG (human chorionic gonadotropin) in your urine, as this is one of the hormones produced by your body when you become pregnant, and the levels increase each day. The main reason they ask you not to take a test early during IVF treatment is that the ‘trigger shot’ you take to release the eggs before egg collection is actually an injection of hCG, and can stay in your system for up to 14 days!

The official test done at the clinic takes place 18 days after that trigger shot, meaning any hCG detected must be from a pregnancy, not left over from the trigger. Consequently, were you to take a test at home a few days early, there is a chance of getting a false positive, with the pregnancy test detecting the remains of the trigger. There is, of course, also the possibility that you could get a false negative!

I reasoned that the day before the official test was still, at 17 days after the trigger, outside that danger window of a false positive, and that if the test was negative (which to be honest, is what I was expecting), I would be able to prepare myself before facing the nurses and other staff at the clinic.

I used the test that the clinic had given me in case I decided to test at home on the Wednesday morning. The waiting time was 3 minutes, and before even a minute had elapsed, I could see the shadow of a second line forming.

Immediately, I started shaking and forced myself to look away because I didn’t want to believe it was real.

I have NEVER experienced a slower 2 minutes and 15 seconds.

Sure enough, both the control and results line were still there when I looked back at the 3 minute mark.

When I went back into the bedroom to wake my husband and tell him, I couldn’t actually speak so I just waved the test around, gave him a massive grin and a thumbs up.

He agreed (after searching for his glasses and reminding me that without switching on a light, he had no hope of seeing the test) that there were definitely two lines, though the result line was considerably fainter.

Yay! It had worked! I was pregnant!

Except… that’s when the doubts started to creep in. What if it was still the trigger shot? What if it was the fact it was a blue-dye test, which I had read about on forums giving false positives? What if we were both simple wanting to see a line where there wasn’t one?

I think deep down, I knew the test was right, but there was still that disbelieving part of me that was trying to find any excuse I could for it to be wrong, because I refused to let myself believe that we could have been that lucky.

I did spend Tuesday alternating between relief and doubt, so on Tuesday evening I popped to the shop and bought a First Response test, with the idea of taking it on Wednesday morning before the official test at the clinic later that day.

The result was immediate. Both lines appeared instantly and the results line was showing much darker just that one day later.

Felt faaairly sure that it was an accurate result!

The blue test at the top was the one I took on Tuesday, the one below was on Wednesday - you can see 2 lines on the first one but it's obvious how much clearer the result was just one day later!

Still, we went to the clinic, they did yet another test and suddenly it became official. Our first round of IVF had worked and I was pregnant!

We had many hugs from the nurses, some of whom cried. I suppose this is why they’re in that job – for times like that, when someone gets a positive result.

Looking back on the last few weeks, there were definitely signs that it had worked, but I was so determined not to read anything into symptoms, because so many of them could have been caused by the progesterone I’m taking, or even could have been PMS!

The dog has become very clingy and protective of me, my breasts have been so tender that I’ve cried, and I’ve continued being emotional at the slightest thing. None of it conclusive, but looking back, it all makes sense.

We’re booked in for a scan at the clinic in 2 ½ weeks, to check that the pregnancy is progressing well, the baby is implanted in a safe place, and whether it is a single or multiple pregnancy. As they only transferred one embryo, I’d imagine it’s a single, but there is always a chance of twins so they do have to check.

If all seems well at the scan, we’ll be discharged from the clinic and will enter the main maternity system.

I do plan to carry this blog on, even though it will (hopefully) now be about my pregnancy rather than specifically IVF. Hope you stick with me!

So there you have it – it’s early days but Blob stuck!

Transfer Day!

My biggest worry leading into today’s Embryo Transfer was that we’d turn up and they’d say that none of the embryos had survived this far so we’d have to cancel the cycle.

We have 3 survivors! All 3 of the embryos survived till today and were still developing under the embryoscope while we waited for the transfer this morning. What an incredible relief that was!

When we arrived this morning, I was shown to the same bed as I’d been in for my egg collection and was told that the embryologists were just checking on our embryos. As all 3 survived, they chose the embryo that had progressed furthest to transfer, intending to freeze the other 2 after they had developed for a few more hours.

The procedure itself was relatively quick and just as undignified as every other part of IVF! You certainly can’t be embarrassed and modest when you’re going through it, or you’d never even get through a scan!

The first step was for the nurse to scan me, to check on the lining of my womb and see whether or not it is ready for potential implantation (eee!).

“Well, your womb lining is beautiful!”

Sentences you never expected to hear.

 An endometrial lining is considered thin if it less than 7mm, and according to my clinic they would like it to measure at least 10mm at this stage of the process. Mine is 13mm!

You know, for all it has been horrible struggling to have a baby, going through the investigations, operation, finding out about my fallopian tubes, and then the IVF itself, my body seems to be actually doing something right, finally!

Not only did 3 eggs fertilise ‘well’, all 3 embryos have made it to day 5 and my womb lining is well above the minimum recommended thickness.

Think I’m quite good at this IVF lark!

Once they’d checked all this, it was time for the transfer itself. While I was being distracted by another nurse and my wonderful husband, the nurse had inserted a catheter directly into my womb. It wasn’t painful but – I won’t lie – it was certainly uncomfortable and I had the definite feeling that if I moved even a centimetre, it would hurt!

Keeping still was not made easy by my husband.

Note: being married to someone whose coping mechanism for being nervous is to crack jokes, is amazing in most circumstances but not while you’re having an embryo transferred! Every time he made me laugh, it hurt!

Multiple identity checks later, our embryologist handed something to the nurse, who moved the catheter slightly, then popped her head over my knees and said “All done!”

That was is it!

I didn’t have much longer to wait and was able to come home, with strict orders to put my feet up and enjoy the next few weeks.

It isn’t going to be easy – I’m going to have to exercise all my will to not symptom spot, and will have to remember to actually relax and let my body do its job.

Relaxation has never been my forte - doesn’t really go well with my skin tone.  

I suppose what I need to remember is that right now, I’m the most pregnant I’ve ever been! No matter whether this works or not, we are much further along than before and that is something worth celebrating.

No I didn't get to see the embryos in a dish but yes this would totally have been me...

So… please stick, little blob! Today could be the day that our lives change forever - you just have to cling on!

Blob-blog

We officially have blobs! Credit to my sister for naming this the Blob-Blog!

Well, what a busy few days!

When last we spoke, I asked for pom-poms and well wishes for the eggs. It seems that it worked – thanks guys!

Had another scan on Friday, where the nurse could see 5 good sized follicles and 2 that were just below the right size, which she expected would make it to the right size over the weekend. I had to take my last lot of medication on the Saturday morning and then the ‘trigger shot’ of HCG at 8:30 on Saturday evening.

As part of a natural cycle, a woman’s body releases HCG to tell the ovaries to release the egg, which it does about 38-42 hours later. In IVF, the shot of HCG is taken 36 hours before the egg collection, because it means the follicles are ready to release the eggs but haven’t yet done so (or they would have disappeared into the depths of the fallopian tubes and become lost forever – SO DRAMATIC!).

Saturday was interesting, really. So far for IVF, I’ve been taking the medication in the evening, so that any side effects would happen overnight rather than potentially ruining my day. I’ve been feeling generally a lot more tired on the medication anyway, so I was completely unprepared for how sudden and intense the tiredness would be when I had to take the medication in the morning on Saturday!

Within about 15 minutes, I’d gone from wide awake and enthusiastic about my day of housework (I know, weird, don’t judge me) to being unable to do anything except sleep on the sofa for 2 hours. Obviously, I really hope that this cycle of IVF is successful but if it isn’t and we need another, I’ll definitely be doing the injections in the evening again. Certainly wouldn’t be able to function at work, if they were done in the morning.

I then had a totally medication free day! Yay for Sunday! No more pincushions for legs! Also meant I got to enjoy this bad boy:

Cherry-scented bath bomb, a pressie from my husband's lovely parents.

After egg collection, they like you not to have baths due to the risk of infection if you’re submerged in water. After embryo transfer, it’s DEFINITELY not advised, because embryos are unable to regulate their temperature and it could result in the pregnancy not taking. So I was determined to enjoy what could be my last hot bath for months!

It. Was. Glorious.

On Monday morning, we arrived at the clinic at 7:30 and sat outside until it opened, because we’d sliiiightly overestimated the amount of time it would take us to park. To be fair, anyone who has ever had to park at the hospital where our clinic is based would totally understand why we left early. Of course, being that Monday was a Bank Holiday, there wasn’t as much going on at the hospital as there normally is!

It seems like a lifetime ago that we had our bad experience at the hospital, when we found out about my blocked fallopian tubes, but this was definitely in the back of my mind as I was taken through to the ward/recovery area of the clinic.

I am happy to report, however, that the experience couldn’t have been more different! I don’t know if this is because I was actually in the clinic this time, rather than having surgery in the main hospital, but it was a really supportive few hours this time.

I filled in some forms, signed another consent form, spoke about my allergy to Penicillin, changed into my butt-gown (thanks again for the name, sister. Are you sure you’re an adult?) and took some antibiotics. The man who would be performing the egg collection came to speak to me and was really reassuring. Turns out we actually got the consultant who is in charge of the whole clinic and is at the cutting edge of the current IVF research, so we couldn’t have asked for better!

While I was waiting to go to theatre, my husband went to give his sample and was back before I went in. Selfish of me but I’m glad he was back by the time I went to theatre.

I was taken to theatre around 8:45, and within 5 minutes was having the sedation administered. When I had the general anaesthetic for my surgery in May, apparently I fought the sleepiness, but this time with the sedation, I tried to just let it happen and actually, as someone who has felt so tired recently, it was quite comfortable drifting off to sleep!

I woke up in the recovery ward at 9:15, was given biscuits and many cups of water, then the nurse popped her head in to tell me that they’d collected 5 eggs. I know that isn’t a huge number, but I had been expecting the worst, for them to have got none, so it was a huge relief!

It took me a bit of time to get my sea-legs back after the sedation, and I had to eat and go to the toilet before they’d let me home, but we were on the way home by 10:30, with instructions to wait for a phone call on Tuesday morning, when we would be told how many eggs had fertilised overnight and would arrange for me to come in for the embryo transfer.

Fast-forward a relaxing rest of Monday, to Tuesday morning. Glued to my phone, jumping every time it made a sound. I really needed to get on with some work but I wasn’t in the right frame of mind at all!

Eventually, the nurse rang us and explained that we have 3 embryos that ‘fertilised well’ and seemed strong. They want me to go for the 5-day transfer, which means Saturday, so they must have some confidence that these embryos will make it to 5 days!

So there you have it, 3 little blobs made of me and my husband, just happily sitting in the incubator, doing their cell division. Waiting for Saturday morning, when one will be transferred back to me.

I know that I need to stay both positive and realistic, so am not getting my hopes too far up, but right now I don’t feel nervous anymore – I’m just excited.

The big hurdle with my fertility is that blocked tubes mean the sperm and egg would never meet. Now, they have done. We have 3 embryos to prove it. We’ve actually overcome the biggest of our problems conceiving so it’s up to nature to take care of the rest once the embryo is transferred.